Free Novel.

Hallo, welcome, please read posts before this to understand why I am about to put a link down for a free PDF novel, written by myself; LOUIS ROWE...

This is as briefly described a science-ficton novel, with some oddities, experimental writing, and some romances...

DOWNLOAD, 
GRAVITY-GREY

(which is on google drive) available to public!

I GOT RICH DURING THE RECESSION

BECAUSE, SURPLUS MATERIALS were SENT TO POUND STORES...some top-quality brands...

What else is there?

What is mind? Opinion, learning and facts.

Take the whole World Wide Web, and the whole collection of History and thought from the individual and the modulation of groups, communism and bible worldwide.

Can't write any more.
Can't find, and then, find some bits, of me, but don't want those bits...but...want a voice...unique voice?

Freedom of poetry, one pen, some paper.

MATERIALISM, disinterested in Charity.

takes 89 %, and gives out, if, a penny (British sovereign) a nickel, is a less than 1%.

Do you hate Art? the HOMELESS

I see five pennies, brown coins in an old coat...Give a silver coin...you earn little, give a little more...give to people who do need food first...is it drugs? Give a man a 20 dollar note, is that for drugs? I'd welcome a celebration of a quarter of that for beer, and rest for food. Create an individual charity-bank called YOU, giving to the homeless in the city.

Sort it out. DAMN! I even consider, telling the homeless to try, the Council for a flat, get on list, try for "no fixed abode" to get WELFARE, that is legal...that can be done if you stop losing your mind//worry//fear//unknown, 'lookign after oneself' THEN, i think, suggest running to the Mental Ward in some warm hospital, VOLUNTEER to be living there and then easier to leave there, those are the options; Medication of course, but its less heavy on the health, if you have drink and food to eat, they give you 3 meals a day in the warmth, you meet warmer people, less dangerous people...

What about several homeless charities, i think, PRINT OUT INFO and hand that to the next person sitting in a dirty blanket...even sit and talk with them for some time.

BUT, damn, I LIVE OUTSIDE THE CITY, A 40 MINUTE RIDE.

BUT, WHEN I DO, I DO...

SO: your happy; a certain corporation; tells you, stick it on your jumper;

JUST DO IT!!!

AGAINST MONEY & THE ART WORLD FORMATION OF DISAGREED THOUGHT

ARTIST SOMETIMES-

Something else ME poor art against glassware-wood made out of gold-

money-attempts-

waste-expense-dull-

why?-specific interest in public-what is that?-who cares?-the artist doesn’t care about society-materialistic progress-ambition/for/fame-sole-

lost writing

     of 

         Death...": I 

   lifted myself 

        off then I said; "I hate 

thy dead black (hazy devil!" then 

   I 

       lifted myself off the Angel 

of Hope?" She had 

Golden 

     wings, sheep;...

      

my 

    voice turned into her

      "Where is that burn...then I said:

         "Where 

is squigy...no...funny talk 

        like faun, lambs, 

      highest doors, the Angel 

    of Death...": I looked 

       to my 

  voice turned 

into 

         her eyes, 

    (lumpy) black (hazy 

      dead black 

  (hazy 

      dead blue 

had 

     Golden 

wings, she 

was falling down earthly face, red 

        laser 

          eyes the bed, my very own 

        earthly face, red laser eyes, 

(lumpy) black (hazy 

dead black with 

  dead blue hair, 

a giant face, red laser

Nano-Write

Here is a NanoWrite, I set myself last summer, to give myself one month to finish a book.

This is the first chapter, the 1st draft as it was. The Story is about a mad-man in Victorian London, trying to harness magical powers...it was the first idea i ever had about a book, i wrote an idea down in pencil, and left it for ages....(admittedly perhaps oddly, I did out some of this into GREY_GRAVITY)...based on a box and the River Thames, and this word= chicaru-red...what would happen if a huge black house appeared above the water...so here is the link: CHICARU-RED...

Absolute journey, like a rubbish dump spilling out into the sea...where my ideas swim, and the journey is soooo long, but i am getting there, i must be, so read my rubbish, i dont mind, just dont.

writing 'gravity' was odd, I didn't quite form it well enough, lopped the ending down too quickly, madly putting out the first draft, and wanting to get it out, rather than keep it moving my mind in endless repetition of words....MADNESS I suppose...maybe this sequel GREY_GOOSE, will be honed better, maybe I wont bear to part with words: probably being anonymous is the best thing, most of all, I want to put "A VOICE OUT"...

I may be so bad at writing, giving myself as I said over a year, to write an actual novel, that, ; being less that are not so many days in 18 months, there were at least three months of cutting and pasting existing words, and then staring at an Internet-less computer screen, trying to work out, who Eugene is, most of all...there were less than the 18 months of course, less of me in posts and social situations, less is more...

I am the hoarder type.
I am prone to copy writer's habits, I spent youth, writing bad poetry, diaries full of bad things i couldnt get to the surface so that i was full of moral philosophies, those of girls, and developed De Quincy amounts of addiction to marijuana. And, the therapy diaries that were fantastical, and due to the 30 mins scricture of library computer time, got automatism to a degree that finally freed me, where i was free a day a week to write, despite living in a lunatic asylum, and having not wanted drugs by then, just words, and stories to tell.

So, i hoard, and confidentially put out all my trash here for you...I get better, i get lost,

it might be shite; to quote;

“We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. We develop all those long-winded ideas which just interpret the reality of our lives in different ways, without really extending our body of worthwhile knowledge, about the big things, the real things. Basically, we live a short disappointing life; and then we die. We fill up our lives with shite, things like careers and relationships to delude ourselves that it isn’t all totally pointless.” 

― Irvine Welsh, Trainspotting

Definition of a Class-less Society

Is J-Anon, the main character, of GRAVITY-GREY, beyond class definition, despite living on the poverty line, class-less?
Why is Britain held by this old view of class?
What is the meaning of class in other countries?
Is education, despite situation, a form of class?

Working Title

Now, I am annoyed with myself for picking such a title as GREY-GRAVITY//GRAVITYGREY

This title was dreamt up in seconds when I found the B-Side, Grey Goose, while listening to nirvana and writing, last summer...But, I didnt add a title then..

Now, I did avoid the news, long ago, and as often as possible because certain things were bringing me an onset of mental illness, so that, I only went by word of mouth, and could then decide if I wanted to follow up a story on the news.. sooo I should have known Gravity the movie would be released or that, 50 shades, does, quite slightly contain my title too. And I hate, I hate.

January after Christmas, I spent 2 secs, mulling over the title, wanted the bird out, in a new nest, clicked publish on GoogleDrive in mins, and now I've sent this mistake off into the ether. I do realise, man! that, that title has taken me to the top of the list, but I don't want the rest of the list at all.
I cant change it now, I know that.

By and by, I think the sequel will be called Grey-goose, as the goose is a girl, and the main character is a girl...

Maybe in time I can change the title of this one, when I release the next...When perhaps I re-edit the first, so that, you, dear reader, have an original text on your pdf-ereader, a first draft.

There's also a half-book on paper, hiding in my drawer, which is a booklet, I printed half of it on coloured a5 size paper...so desperate to stop hiding my loves, that I've written all of them, and given them up to you.

I dont know the diaganosis for stupidity, as I am a Simple Schizophrenic plus I dont know...i mean...I don't know the personality I am mean't to ahve as an author.

SHould I have remained completely behind doors? A bit liek the Wizard of Oz. By, not writing this blog at all. By trying to explain issues of gender I have used a part pysdonym that, has, to be, to you, male.

OH! dammit!!

I did it again...Is even Anon (or -Jay) a girl or boy? Does it make you think he could be either in your viewpoint, your way of reading, that may be different from another reader?

The personality of the reader?

Jay, could be black african, he could be mixed race, he could be boy or girl?

Taking Pills

Well, I'm breaking through my anonymous-life-line, here by telling you.

I've lowered my dosage of medication and I damn glad I did.

I am on 400mg a day, of clozapine, now this is a huge does, as I began on 2mg of Olanzapine...

I havent read into the actual, affect on the brain...

I do, know, it rewires you.

And when I'm rewired, I get sick. I've convinced them, I am groggy, and incoherent, a jumbling mess of groans and moans, so, I take it at night so I can function.

I take these pills to keep the peace.

I used to fight, and fight.

One day, I  got myself back and thought...

I will lower the dosage...(having observed how the new medicator watches me take the meds, I can put them behind my teeth, grin, without dribbling, then as I walk up the stairs, drop them into the cup, watch them dissolve...I even take meds with a cup of tea now...)

I take just one pill to help me sleep.

When you experience a drug, you should know, it takes a certain amount of time to have an effect...say 20mins for me.

And I feel, angry, extremely screamingly depressed at the same time.
At first I thought, I have a depressed personality, I've done some other soul wrong, so...

I don't know...bleeding cells, burning neurons.

The brightest times are here, now, because I'm no longer dull, and I even laugh in company...

SCHIZOPRHENIC FANTASY

I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia, a long time ago now...

When I got a day out, I went to the computer in the library, as an intense romantic thought, to write a diary about my world.

I lived in a different world, to others around me, like family, family became less in the 5th world of hallucinations, so that the 5th world was the only world.
Now, thats funny, because as GRAVITY-GREY is full of fantastical things, you may not realise that the most otherworldy events inside it, are REAL to me, real auto-biographical life...

Now the romance belittled the development of this book for three months, as I sat and stared at the romance in saved files, and did not want to edit them, did not want to keep writing love-letters, leaving the book while thinking I was writing the book,but unable to write a paragraph even, cos the love, was in Eugene (PAGE 88) and the invisible...so I have a few pieces of an old diary inside GRAVITY-GREY...

Yes, GRAVITY-GREY is essentially a ROMANCE.

Then, I wanted to tell the lover.

Even though ...

the modern day typewriter is a perfect way to write, letting you write the middle first, deleting, cutting and pasting...giving you a power over the old genuis, who knowing ink can run out, has to be able to write a page as complete as possible without scratching it away with red pen...

I decided to explain to her.

I began; In those small (because I am small) months I had a terrible fear of flying...

(I was always flying)

I wrote down other lovers, you see, because Jay doesn't have a completeness, and then, you find out EUGENE has even less of a completeness when it involves Love.
I had to hide the lover because she couldnt be Eugenie and Eugene couldn't be her.

So, I left that part of love, and the rest became anger. I wrote down an anger against the TV< the babylon< Monster, the televisual death that brings the Woman Monster. Some things real...

Sequel

I'm writing an extended monologue now, for the sequel, which involves the main characters of GRAVITY-GREY...of course monologues recount events, so, I have decided to reveal, the plot I decided on this morning...

This one is difficult. While J-anon was rushing through life, full of anger, so that I could write pages on what had actually angered me; the author, @GravityROWE, describing stuff that was automatic like a gun, I am now writing about the mess of mental illness, about caring for someone in a lost state of the mind.

So, Love as an Emotion, so difficult to describe...again PLOT, there will be sections repeated from prt1, as seen from a different camera angle...there's is going to be a history of a specific characters life, the one taking up the narration...

Well, enough without a reveal, though I am really sort of busy, the second book, may take me a year, though I am confident, that this time I can write without wasting time staring at the writing, so give it months this time. I don't edit except to spell check...

J-Anon, will definitely be back in prt 2...he will be silent this time, and he won't even realise what he has missed, because (guess who) won't tell him....

(POST)-ANARCHY religion

POST ANARCHY= 
While thinking of my main character (Anon-J) in GRAVITY-GREY  It's obvious Anon-J is an Anarchist, full of intense musings about the state of modern Britain, suburban Britain, boxed in houses, set the food of the TELEVISION...

an·ar·chy

 noun \ˈa-nər-kē, -ˌnär-\

: a situation of confusion and wild behavior in which the people in a country, group, organization, etc., are not controlled by rules or laws

Full Definition of ANARCHY

1

a :  absence of government

b :  a state of lawlessness or political disorder due to the absence of governmental authority

c :  a utopian society of individuals who enjoy complete freedom without government

2

a :  absence or denial of any authority or established order

b :  absence of order :  disorder <not manicured plots but a wild anarchy of nature — Israel Shenker>

J-Anon, wants a religion inside his personal anarchic wanton disregard of money, he wants to be a lover, only, he sings the society around him away from the dead, dull eyes that take in the entertainment created by a brain that isn't his, a brain that is dangerous to him, more a place called BABYLON, the one that takes life away from a soul...

RELIGIOUS ANARCHY: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_anarchism

 At one point Jay loses his religion, he denies God to God himself, because he sees Denial of God, in God's very own home. Jay negates himself before God, but something called loss, appears just as he spits in God's face, some dark low place perhaps that brings the Emperor into J's home, the home he borrows or squats, where he disregards money and society, again, disregards everything except for the kisses of girls;

EXCERPT from GRAVITY-GREY; 

"THE POLICE APPEAR; (OR NOT) IN FRONT OF TV)

I have battle clothes on; the police don't like to suffer. I sit in looking at the pointless black. Want to put their conversations in the bin.

Have us, The Epic Empire people, or the company Bags.

I will look over and suffer the hands of the call, hands dragged on some gravel.

The resting rubbish outside on the police ground.

There, I sit with hate, and lap up the chat-show. Die marks on the eyes. Old the bottom, when hate is being automated, the bedroom stair, they too are clapping the door, looking to speak. I read a skittle on the record. There are, two dark sitcoms, like policemen, and I look to the door, round the middle.

Then, from inside, they ask the distances. Was a good merry hall, at my hours. Kicking for the question, my eyes thump. I look at sport, peeling hate eyelids that hate being on top of the television. The hate watch.

Don't face down, upon things; it takes too long, too down." 

Jay Anon is the part of me, that wanted to speak out, if only speaking alone, to myself, to an unconventional view of life, that I do seem to have to deny to myself, to stay in quiet society, safely, no mess, no fight, for PEACE...most of gravity-grey really is auto-biographical, even the parts that seem so FANTASTICAL, the  religious in me, I don't know why, when you meet a preacher in the street that you want to deny him, are you busy? angry? unbelieving?

How could you DENY, these things that are so obvious? I am in 30 different worlds, some dangerous worlds, and you are in front of the TV?

(twitter account, @gravityROWE)

Twitter and EMAIL connect

This blog to the new, is about a novel, a therapeutic attempt to write an extended love letter to anonymous girl, and is an auto-biography, and a fantasy science fiction tale, with a secret twist to the romance that you will have to discover, i.e: which character in the book is the lover of the main character and narrator JAY...

GRAVITY-GREY FREE DOWNLOAD FOR EREADERS 

I have a twitter account, suggested by someone who actually ignores me, but valiantly, stepped up, and posted somewhere, why not twitter, i thought no, because you dont love me, but then set it up, and glad i did because, it brings me in readers, usually 5, every time i post...most of it is endless boring advertising of the book, but I'm there, if the human body wants to connect and communicate, i am @GravityROWE

I'm quite frightened by the fact that no-one wants to write to me, or say what they think of the book, even HATE I would enjoy...

Here is my email which I check often: louro2010@live.co.uk

STEREOTYPES.

How much does a lonely man look at the world, and always, get the wrong view of the world, but such a strong view?

I was writing Jay, like he was a young boy, but the monologues are me, at certain points, points of anger mostly, that I had to make THE POINT.

I didn't see the world round other people, al the others, were in my 'view;...an odd view, now I see.

I was scared of my world.
I didnt understand certain types of people.
 Billy and Elizabeth are people. Tracy is worse, they are secretly formed on the view I held of  real live people.

J oddly loses how to be people.
 Billy:  
"Miserable conversations, because the room made everyone so quiet. And with Billy, he got up to do everything and he went to sit down, to nothing and everyone sorta carried on their thoughts around his actions, and especially his silences. " excerpt GRAVITY-GREY

Maybe no-one was miserable then, poor people? low people? non-working, working class people?? Everyone has to be cute, but no-one is allowed to be wiser, Jay's world, or vice versa, like the title I couldnt quite fix, and then 'advertised' incorrectly, so that the title runs backwards, and runs me backwards, I shrug it off...

Tracy, is terrible, maybe she is really a nice girl...Jay wants to flit aorund and stay away from people, most of all to keep them safe from the Devil Itself.

I wanted to tell you why I think, I am a bad stereotypist of the BRITISH PEOPLE. I think America would see Jay's eyes really are full of light, and 

"Elizabeth had happy eyes, but she shouldn't have..."

Maybe I did get those people right...